เนื้อเพลง If I Was The King - Steel Panther

If I Was The King
I would get myself a b*tchin' crown
And I'd make all the b*tches call me Sir Michael Starr
I'd have a castle and a b*tchin' throne
And at night I'd go in the town
In a big stretch Hummer with a hot tub and a bar

If I was the King
I would outlaw clothes for chicks
So you could see if the shaved their pussies
Or if they were hiding d*cks
I'd lower the drinking age
So little kids could get drunk too
And I'd make it a f*cking crime to wear a wedding ring
If I was the King

That'd be f*ckin' nice right?

I'd knock down all the schools
And put up licquor stores
And give free boobjobs to the strippers and the whores
I would outlaw common sense
Feed the homeless to the wolves
And if you didn't like Steel Panther you'd go to jail!

If I was the King
I'd make beer the official food
And you'd never have to take the trash out
If you happen to be born a dude
You could buy hand grenades at Starbucks
And take a sh*t right on the street
And I'd kill Katy Perry so I wouldn't have to hear her sing
If I was the King

Her comes the court jester man!

And if the motherf*cking peasents didn't like it
I would tell them all to s*ck my d*ck
S*ck my d*ck
S*ck my d*ck

Legalize masturbation
At every strip joint in the nation
And the minimum cup size would have to be a double D
Oh yeah
But if you were in a band
You wouldn't have to use your hand
There'd be mandatory blowjobs for guys like you and me!

If I was the King
Megan Fox would be my Queen
But I'd still f*ck Christie Brinkley
And any girl older than 16
I'd execute One Direction
And drop a nuke on the Middle East
But I'd take the oil first so we wouldn't have to feel the sting
If I was the King
If I was the King
If I was the King